Future Fears

I found out today that a two friends of mine who have been dating for a couple years are finally engaged. I guess I shouldn't say finally, as I wouldn't want anyone else's time frame imposed on me. That's exactly what I'm afraid of.

I didn't talk to her directly today, though my roommate did and I overhead a bit. Apparently she's scared. Marriage IS scary. At least that's my current view. I know it'll be great and fun and blah, blah, blah, and hard and worth it. But did they just think it was time? Hey, we've been together for a couple years, let's do it. It's what we're supposed to do, right? They got engaged sometime this month and are getting married really soon - like in a month. Another friend from HS is getting married this summer, and I get the same impression. He's dated the girl for four years, all their other friends are married, he's established in his job, owns a house, so it's just time. He's scared. Is that how it has to be?

My friend that got married earlier this month hadn't even known her husband for a year before they got hitched. On her wedding day she had NO qualms whatsoever. Not nervous, no anything. Just happiness, hey let's get married today and spend the rest of our lives together. No biggie. Is that how it should be? You just know and don't worry about it?

I wonder how it will be for me. I always figured I'd date someone for a couple years before even mentioning marriage. But at that point will I be doing it just because it's time for something new? Take the next step because that's just what you do after a few years together? Or will it be quick? I'll just know shortly after meeting someone that it's right?

I seriously don't even know why I'm thinking so much about the M word. I can't even say it outloud in reference to myself. My biological clock is NOT ticking. I think the battery is dead. I'm just in the marriage demographic. Everyone's doing it. It's the in thing. But I won't give in to peer pressure ;-)